Past reflection amidst present thoughts:
Last weekend, I had the opportunity to travel to London for a training conference organised by Innocent Network UK. Given the duration of travel by coach, the journey served as a break whilst I listened to Arvo Part’s album Da Pacem, watched the sceneries and gave thought on what has happened since my return to Bristol.
Time has passed by at a terribly frightening pace and I have found myself constantly trying to keep up with what is going on at school. Some modules have been very difficult for me; I actually gave up on the reading materials because I could make no sense out of them. The idea of ‘free time’ has become obsolete as most of us start realising that we have so many things to attend to that we have to learn how to make time for things instead. A constant challenge is to not lose sight of what is fundamental and important in life.
I love how Oswald Chamber (O.C.) wrote about Paul having a strong steady spiritual coherence in his internal being – he could let his external life change as it liked and it did not distress him because he was rooted and grounded in God. This is in contrast to us, who are often being in coherent because of the amount of unrelated emotion and phases of external things we have in us: a mixture. Paul’s consistency was down in the fundamentals. I suppose this encapsulates what I have been learning since returning.
Amidst the current state of affairs, I have been constantly confronted with the theme of waiting and resting upon Him – “in returning and rest… in quietness and confidence… labouring to rest in Him”, as opposed to tending to the many things that cry for my attention and demand my ‘required effort and input to make it work’. In the case of being a law student in the penultimate year, this defies common sense as it is probably the norm to start worrying and thinking about my training contract.
Perhaps in one sense, it really is about what O.C. has written: learning to be grounded and rooted in Him through the seasons of waiting, resting and surrendering; not just in relation to school and career but also in all matters of life. I suppose it is about seeing Him governing and scrutinising over every minute detail in my life even in the routine and mundane schedule. On the other hand, it feels like an adventure as I move forward towards uncertainties (at least to the human understanding)- stepping out yet ‘not knowing whither’. It feels like a challenge to have that reckless faith and trust in defiance of logic.
My thoughts were interrupted as a bird flew into the path of the coach travelling down the motorway – the sound of something being smashed and a mangled mess of feathers flew pass my window.
“Are not two sparrows sold
for a farthing? And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your
Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore,
ye are of more value than many sparrows.” Matt 10:29-31
