Spring Snow

Spring in my memories was sunshine, blooming flowers and nice cooling breeze. But it snowed today - I was secretly glad that it did despite the accompanying cold. Somehow, I just love snow: I love its whiteness and its symbol of purity (Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow (Psalm 51)); I love how they slowly descend from the heavens, dancing about as the wind carries them. So carefree and beautiful; gentle yet terrifying...But what clear relief and enjoyment it was: walking through the snow while they swirled about me in the subzero wind, and watching them fall while I had my dinner of soup with toasted bread. Clearly, I have missed snow. 

Somewhat strangely, the snow followed a particular sequence where random occurrences triggered something buried within memories. Just earlier, I listened to a song that stopped me in my readings and forced me to search my memories to where I have heard the accompanying melody (a variation of Mozart it was, performed by Igudesman and Joo - something I watched 2-3 years back). Somehow, the snow brought to my mind a novel I read half a decade ago: Snow Falling on Cedars - a story of  growing up, love, pain, anger, hatred, letting go, forgiveness and moving on in life. Perhaps there was something that I found in parallel and hence its roots in my mind. "[Accident] ruled every corner of the universe except the chambers of the human heart". An accident it was then, snow in March - a paradox of untimely occurrence but sharp relief. 

"To deny that there was this dark side of life would be like pretending that the cold of winter was somehow only a temporary illusion, a way station on the way to the higher "reality" of long, warm, pleasant summers. But summer, it turned out, was no more real than the snow that melted in wintertime."

Snow falling on me. 

Out from the drudgeries

Huge waves that would frighten an ordinary swimmer produce a tremendous thrill for the surfer who has ridden them. Let’s apply that to our own circumstances. The things we try to avoid and fight against— tribulation, suffering, and persecution— are the very things that produce abundant joy in us. “We are more than conquerors through Him” “in all these things”; not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. A saint doesn’t know the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it. Paul said, “I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation” - Oswald Chambers

I love thrilling activities that create excitement and offer challenges to overcome: sky-diving is the next thing I am looking forward to doing. But having said that, Oswald Chambers idea of applying the concept of tremendous thrill to our own circumstances just seems too much. It is frightening at times to read what he writes - while often stirring in the spirit, they are 'drastic, decisive and destructive' to the natural life. One just has to read his books  "Christian Disciplines" and "Biblical Ethics" to realise how much despair it can cause to one who is set on self-realisation instead of Christ-realisation. It is not untrue to say that there are times when one catch sight of the feeling produced in the heart of the rich young ruler when Jesus told him to sell all his riches to the poor and follow Him. On other occasions, it perplexes and terrifies one to even consider what God might bring one through in the refining fire. But of course, once considered through faith and a renewed mind in Christ, it also brings about the realisation that the only way forward is to surrender and follow the Lamb wherever He leads. The path forward gets increasing narrow as any room left for jostling against God diminishes exponentially - circumstances do not permit it anyway. Inevitably one has to reach a point where one is able to align oneself with Paul's statement that "all things are loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus" or to become "very sorrowful" towards God's call. His grace is sufficient. 

"We are more than conquerors through Him"